Written by Sexual Wellness Institute Owner and Therapist, Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT
Love is Blind AF for Chelsea & Kwame
If you are watching season 4 of Love is Blind you are probably getting the “icks”. I am getting the major icks with Chelsea & Kwame. Neither of them are bad people, but man they are F O R C I N G it. Love is blind in that they are blindly pretending to be in love for the wrong reasons.
Back in the pods, I remember Chelsea sharing that she wanted kids so bad she was probably just going to have to do it herself without a husband. She came into this show in a pretty desperate place. Then, when the topic of kids came up and Kwame said he wanted to wait, Chelsea started throwing out all these different scenarios in which she would essentially be raising the kids on her own, home schooling them so they could travel, etc. Girl. Where did you learn that you have to lose your identity and wants and needs in order to be in a relationship? This is a recipe for unhappiness for both of you.
It’s so clear throughout the show the Kwame is not into this. He flirts with Micah every chance he gets. He complains about moving to Seattle. When Chelsea is being herself, he seems to be really turned off by it. After they got married (yes this shocked the heck out of me) they are hugging under an umbrella and she calls him her husband, and laughs in her Chelsea way – he turns away in annoyance but then tells her it feels amazing to hear. Kwame – why are you also forcing this? Like I said, the icks.
Micah & Paul: Paul is Great, Micah Needs New Friends
Micah - you are who you surround yourself with and your friends are awful. We all know what I’m talking about. Micah has one friend that seemed more determined to get drunk and be rude to Paul than actually celebrate her friend who is taking a big leap in her life and needs support. Paul stood his ground with the friend, which only seemed to make her more mad and decided to continue to tell Micah that she doesn’t like him and he’s not the guy for her. She was butt hurt by Paul so selfishly she decides to try to ruin the relationship. Very mature. When Paul said no at the altar and Micah walked away in tears her friend is smiling, laughing, and telling others around her that she is “relieved”. Way to make it about you girl.
Brett & Tiffany: Authentic Vibes Only
Unlike other couples, these two fell in love with each other for exactly who they are, and isn’t that exactly what you want? To wake up everyday feeling like you are with someone who loves and supports you exactly who you are? Those authentic vibes will help them soar as a couple and individuals. This marriage therapist approves.
Marshall: Found Love, Just Not How He Expected.
I can’t not mention Marshall. Marshall didn’t find love in the way he intended on this show, but man, did he find love in the audience, and in his friends from the show.
I especially appreciate the connection between Marshall and Brett right before the wedding. They connect during this important moment for Brett and share their love and support for each other. To see two men share words of “I love you deep down” is absolutely heartwarming to witness. Earlier in the season Marshall succinctly shares how important to it is for “men who look like us” to share their feelings. Indeed Marshall, indeed. Wishing you the absolute best WITHOUT Jackie. And that’s all I’m going to say about Jackie.
Zach & Bliss
Zach got a bad rep early on in the show for being “creepy” and for picking Irina. Zach has been through some shit in his life, and is in some ways clearly still going through it. I can see how his upbringing, trauma, and struggles within himself contributed to him picking the wrong woman. Bliss mentioned her family might not be accepting of her and he really started to panic about that and I think that was ultimately the reason for his initial picking of Irina. But let’s not be so quick to blame him. Haven’t we all been guilty of this? We just didn’t have everyone witness our mistake on television with millions of viewers.
Even though it might be understandable that Zach Initially picked Irina, I think Bliss is not so blissful about it. She can be heard making sarcastic and passive aggressive comments every chance she gets about being his second choice. In the final interview of the last episode she said “he owes me a vacation and it can’t be Mexico”. Okay honey, get it all out now. This won’t work if you can’t get over his initial bad choice.
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Read about other seasons of Love is Blind here, or read more about couples therapy and marriage counseling hot topics on our therapy blog. (Not sure what ENM means? Do you need a sex room? (spoiler alert: YES, you do need a sex room!) Thinking about opening your relationship? Interested in knowing more about self-love and pleasure?) Of course, if you're anywhere in Minnesota and want to connect, we would love to talk with you about relationships, sexual concerns, trauma and PTSD, and more.
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