Sex Addiction Counseling and Porn Addiction Therapy in Minnesota | Plymouth, MN 55446 - Sexual Wellness Institute

Sex Addiction, Problematic Sexual Behavior, Out of Control Sexual Behavior

Whatever you want to call it you found yourself here because there’s something about your sexual behaviors or fantasies that has become problematic in your life for some reason. Lots of people wonder what “makes” this go from normal to problematic. We say that is up for you to decide but we can provide some guidance. Usually if you feel like it’s a problem then it probably is to some extent.

Here are some signs your sexual behavior might be problematic:

Deep shame/guilt associated with the behaviors
Using sex or masturbation excessively to cope with and avoid dealing with other problems such as depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship issues, etc
Spending more time than you’d like to using these behaviors
You’d rather be doing these behaviors than spending time with loved ones, especially your partner

These behaviors are upsetting your partner
You are hiding things of a sexual nature from your partner and/or leading a “double life”
You are lying to your partner about the behaviors
There is a significant value discrepancy with the behaviors leading to internal conflict
Difficulty regulating behaviors despite consequences

Man in bed on his phone instead of focusing on the woman laying next to him. Adults dealing with sex addiction or porn addiction can get treatment through sex addiction counseling in Minnesota at Sexual Wellness Institute

Struggling with these things can leave you feeling depressed, hopeless, worried, ashamed, and out of control. We can help.

Sex addiction is a tricky topic. We like to treat this problem with a sexual health model. We want you to be as healthy with your sexuality as you can be – but first you have to decide on what “healthy” sexuality means to you. That’s often where we start. Many of us don’t grow up in an environment where we are taught it is okay to explore and develop our sexual values. They are often prescribed to us by family or larger institutions. Many of us grow up and realize that those values just don’t work for us anymore. Or maybe some do, and some don’t. We need to have a clear picture on what our values are before we can think about following them.

What kinds of Out of Control Sexual Behavior do you Treat?

Keep in mind that within this list some people may find they are in line with their values on in any of these areas and don’t consider it a “problem” while others may not. As we said it’s more important that you define what is a problem in your life and for your values and circumstances.

Problematic pornography use
Problematic internet usage with sexually explicit websites
Infidelity

Use of escorts or other paid sexual workers
Inability to control sexual urges
Intrusive sexual thoughts

How does sex addiction treatment work?

We start by evaluating your behaviors and your idea of what sexually healthy looks like to you. We also find that exploring messages you received about sex and sexuality, past experiences, past trauma, etc are helpful in understanding why your behaviors might be out of control. Once we have taken a thorough history and assessment we will make a treatment plan individualized to you. This treatment plan can also include a partner getting support individually and doing marriage counseling to address the issues in the context of your marriage.

Common concerns and questions regarding sex addiction

“I’ve been holding this in so long, I don’t even know where to start. I’m scared of talking about it”

Ripped papers with

We meet with a lot of folks who have never told anyone about these behaviors. We understand that some may need to take this slow, and may not even be ready to fully engage in treatment. That’s okay. Coming in and talking is a great first step. The shame of holding these things in is often what fuels the behavior. We do something, we feel bad about it, and then we need something (ie the behavior) to make ourselves feel better. And the cycle continues. Once we are already holding in secrets it’s easier to continue to do so.

“I’m embarrassed or ashamed to talk about this”

All of our providers at Sexual Wellness Institute strive to meet you where you are. It is not our job to judge you – we know that won’t help anything! We want you to feel comfortable discussing your concerns in a place where you feel accepted for where you’re at. Likely we are going to tell you we are proud of you taking the step to coming to therapy – not shame you for your behaviors.
Sex addiction is a topic that doesn’t really get talked about unless some celebrity gets caught cheating or soliciting. Even then, it’s sensationalized and these people are shamed. The media doesn’t get at the real issues behind the behaviors. We know you’re here because you’re struggling. You probably wish you could just stop on your own – and if you could you would. We know that it is much more complex than that and honor that this will be a journey.

“My partner wants me to go to therapy to figure out why I keep cheating, looking at pornography, etc. Is there a reason?”

If we keep doing something despite it being a problem in our relationship or our lives in general, then yes it’s a problem and there is a reason! There can be all kinds of “reasons” for this and there often isn’t just one. We find that inviting your partner in session to discuss feelings around this can be helpful in re-building trust in your relationship if that is your goal. We have helped many couples find their way back from things like this to a happier and healthier marriage.

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Begin Sex Addiction or Porn Addiction Therapy in Minnesota

Beginning therapy in Minnesota with one of our skilled sex therapists can be simple and worry-free. We can help you either in-person at our Plymouth, MN counseling clinic, or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Minnesota! Take control of your life and your addiction today. All you have to do to get started is:

Schedule a free consultation
Meet with one of our sex therapists online or at our clinic
Begin your journey toward a more fulfilling sexual relationship

Other Sexual Wellness Institute Services

Sexual concerns often have many layers. We know these issues are complex so, at Sexual Wellness Institute, we also offer sexual desire therapy, couples counseling, low libido or mismatched sexual desire, infidelity therapy and specialized services for teens. Let us enhance your sexual health in a meaningful and comprehensive way. Ask your online therapist about additional resources in your area of Minnesota.