Bridgerton: Lady Porn on Netflix and Why you Should Watch

Written by Sexual Wellness Institute Owner and Therapist, Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT

Have you seen the new Netflix series “Bridgerton”?

If you have, you know that there is some serious sexual tension and build up between the two main characters that results in some extremely steamy sex scenes.
For those of you who haven’t seen it – it is a period drama about a girl from a wealthy family looking for someone to marry and the scandalous things that ensue for her and her family. It also includes lots of sex and sexy scenes sure to give you a little titillation – or at least entertainment!

Empowering Female Sexuality without Patriarchy

Something that makes this show interesting is that the main character, Daphne, is finding her sexuality for the first time – and doesn’t have social media and friends telling her what to expect. That can seem scary, but what she doesn’t have to deal with is the BS societal expectations that have come to be about what a woman’s sexuality is “supposed” to look like behind closed doors. Certainly she has the societal expectation that she be “pure” and proper until she gets married – but once she is she’s allowed to explore her sexuality in whatever ways feel naturally good to her instead of trying to adhere to the patriarchal societal expectations.
Even as Daphne “touches herself” for the first time she’s doing it completely not knowing what masturbation is. Can you imagine just being able to masturbate without fears around what its “supposed” to look and feel like?! How freeing!

An Accessible Option to Arouse

Women don’t tend to be as “visual” as men and don’t always include watching porn as a part of their regular masturbation routine. However, most women do respond in some way to visual stimuli that is arousing to them. What I like about this show is that it’s very accessible and easy to watch, has some very titillating sexual scenes, and it’s not as “out there” or “raunchy” as much of the main stream porn. This series is basically a romance novel made into a series – and I know many women like to jump start arousal by reading romance novel or two.
What I also know about many women is that it takes responsive desire to build arousal and desire and that it doesn’t just happening spontaneously. This means we have to have a stimulus of something to jump start that arousal. In long term relationship we have to get more creative about those stimuli in order to maintain a healthy and consistent sexual relationship. This stimulus can be anything from your partner kissing you, seeing your partner excel at something, having a romantic moment with your partner, etc. It can also be from something more obviously sexual like a romance novel, erotic, porn, etc. Or…BRIDGERTON!

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Okay… but what do I do exactly?

So here’s what I suggest. Make yourself your relaxing drink of choice (wine, tea, etc). It doesn’t matter what you’re drinking so much as the act of being intentional about starting this exercise. Next, sit down and watch this show and pay attention to what happens for you during some of the sexy scenes. This can be some of the more “sexual tension building” type scenes to the first time they have sex. Some of the best buildups include when they are fighting sexual tension while dancing formally together, stolen glances, barely touch hands while looking at a painting together, and Daphne watching the Duke’s sweaty well defined muscles at the boxing ring and being turned on.
If you want to jump ahead to any scenes, the first sex scene can be found here. (Age restricted, per YouTube)

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Paying Attention While Watching "Lady Porn"

Paying attention to your body

What do I mean by this? Notice what scenes give you a mental, or physical reaction, and what scenes leave you engaging in fantasy about what it may be like to be a person in that scene.

Mental Arousal

​Mental arousal includes thinking positive sexual thoughts like “ooo that’s kinda hot” or “he’s really sexy”.

Fantasizing

Fantasizing can be as simple as imaging yourself as one of the characters becoming engulfed while dancing and enjoying that romance and sexual build up, or more elaborate and walking yourself through a sex scene imagining you are the one engaging in the act. While doing this you might imagine what each part would feel like to experience yourself.

Physical Arousal

​Physical arousal is noticing what is happening in your body. This can include:

• Noticing tingles in certain places in your body- particularly genitals
• Noticing warm in places on your body – particularly genitals. When we become aroused blood rushes to our genitals and produces a “warming” sensation
• Noticing lubrication in your genitals

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Take Notice and Enjoy Your Sexuality

​If you notice any of these things happening – lean into them and try to build upon them. Start touching yourself and see what happens. Or, bring your partner in on the fun and let them touch you. And…go from there!

Interested in Starting Sex Therapy in Plymouth, MN?

Maybe this sounds interesting to you, but there's a reason you can't imagine trying it out. Our sex therapists want to help you address sexual concerns here in Plymouth, or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Minnesota. Get started by following these simple steps:

1. Contact the Sexual Wellness Institute to set up your first appointment.
2. Meet with one of our skilled sex therapists for an intake appointment.
3. Begin building better communication with your partner, overcome sexual concerns and experience new fun and intimacy in your relationship!​

Other Mental Health Services in Minnesota

​In addition to sex therapy, our LGBT & polyamory friendly sex therapists provide a wide range of mental health services at our Plymouth, MN counseling office. Other services include couples therapy & marriage counseling, EFT, evidence-based couples therapy, EMDR & sexual trauma therapy, as well as, teen therapy. In order to help serve the mental health needs of all those living in Minnesota, we also offer online counseling & sex therapy. We also provide a variety of helpful tips on our mental health blog. Please feel free to reach out with questions, or if you would like to schedule an appointment to begin working with a skilled sex therapist! Your sex life can be amazing. Sex therapy can be a part of that process for you.