The Sex Toy That Got Women Through Quarantine

Written by Sexual Wellness Institute Owner and Therapist, Amanda Sasek

That title alone should catch your eye right? As a sex therapist I often get requests for sex toy recommendations by friends, acquaintances, clients, and colleagues. I noticed these requests increased during quarantine – which makes sense- there’s not a lot to be happy about in the word right now, combined with the fact that we’re all spending more time at home – why not get an orgasm out of it?

My number one recommendation lately has been a 2 in 1 vibrator that combines clitoral suction with a dildo vibrator.

Whether you are partnered or single – this sex toy is for anyone with a vulva. ​

First things first-Why masturbate?

Okay, before we get to the good stuff I want to give my plug on masturbation. Self-love, solo sex, masturbation – whatever you want to call it – is good for you. I want to make sure you female identified folks out there who might be weighed down by our patriarchal society hear me. ​

MASTURBATION IS HEALTHY

Why is it healthy you may ask? Well, first of all, it’s sex with someone you love. Beyond that, masturbation teaches us what we like sexually without the pressure of a partner there. This can really up your sexual game. You learn what feels good, what gets you off, and then you can teach this to your partner. And by the way….most people find it sexy to be having sexual intimacy with someone who knows what they like and can ask for it.
Second, masturbation is relaxing. One may even say it’s a form of meditation or mindfulness. It’s a way to forget your troubles and just connect with your body and your pleasure.
Third, orgasms bring all the feel good hormones: oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin – and who can’t use more of those?

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The Toy

You might be thinking, what the heck is a clitoral suction vibrator? Instead of the traditional vibration on your clitoris, this creates a suction motion when you place the toy directly on the clitoris. This is a completely different sensation than using a traditional vibrator. You can buy these toys as solely having the suction part, or you can buy them as the 2 in 1 previously mentioned where it has a suction and dildo/vibrator component. If you’ve never heard of this before, here are some photos of what these things look like. It can be kind of hard to imagine before seeing them! ​

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What Are People Saying?

Okay, first if you want to read some of the funniest, most descriptive reviews of your life you need to go read the amazon reviews here for this version of the 2 in 1 clitoral suction vibrator. Woman are literally praising this as their best purchase ever and are going to give you a pretty detailed description of their experience. The more recent reviews discuss how this toy was helpful to cure the boredom, loneliness, and monotony of quarantine.
With permission from some of my lovely friends who have tried this device I am going to give you some of their comments here:

• “I usually don’t orgasm easily from sex toys. This was like a full out of body experience”.
  
• “It definitely took a while for me. At first I was like, oh, man, this shit isn’t going to work. And then suddenly I was like omfg what is that?! I can see my fucking soul leaving my body”.
  
• “Make sure to move the positioning around. The first time I used it, it was fine. The second time I was like oh hot damn and realized that it came down to perfect positioning”.

How to Use This Vibrator

I don’t think enough people describe actually how to use sex toys to maximize their effectiveness so here’s some helpful tips from the sex therapist on using clitoral suction toys. These are not going to be all the tricks in the book (please comment if you have your own – we N E E D your wisdom!).

• Before using it for the first time, get yourself in the mood a bit. Take a bath, meditate, watch something erotic, sext with your partner – whatever does it for you.
• Start with the lowest setting. Move up slowly when it feels right.
• Positioning is key. Play around with what feels good to you
• Play around with how long you hold the suction at one time. Take it off and on.
• When you hold the suction on your clitoris you may want a strong hold or a light hold –experiment with this as well
• The clitoris has internal structures as well – which means holding this thing just below, above, or around your clitoris might feel great as well!
• Decide if you want to use one that has a penetration component. Some people like this, some don’t.
• You may want to use this toy in conjunction with other types of stimulation: other toys, your hands, your partners hands/mouth, etc
• Try it with your partner – teach them how to use it!

Why you might want to try this verses a traditional vibrator

Traditional vibrators are great. They are the standby, old faithful sex toys. You may want to try a suction stimulator toy if you either: 
A. Want to try something different in your solo or partnered sex routine, or
B. For some reason or another you are struggling with having an orgasm. If the latter, the suction stimulator toy may give you a different sensation then you are used to which may help you reach orgasm more easily.

Suction devices have also shown to help with sexual functioning issues with specific medical diagnoses such as MS and spinal cord injuries. One research study showed them to be beneficial in improving orgasmic and overall sexual functioning in MS and spinal cord injury patients.
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You don’t have to be experiencing issues in order to give this toy a whirl Sheer boredom with your normal sexual routine or daily life is reason enough!

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Ready to Begin Sex Therapy in Minnesota?

You deserve the best sex therapy in Minnesota. Our skilled sex therapists want to help you address personal sexual concerns. In our Plymouth, MN therapy clinic, or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Minnesota, we can serve you. You can begin t0 feel more physically and emotionally connected to your body, with these simple steps:

1. Get in touch with the Sexual Wellness Institute to set up your first appointment.
2. Meet with one of our sex therapists for an intake appointment.
3. Feel more confident and connected to your body, by starting with your mind.

Other Mental Health Services in Minnesota

In addition to sex therapy, our LGBT & polyamory friendly sex therapists provide a wide range of mental health services at our Plymouth, MN counseling office. Other services include couples therapy & marriage counseling, EFT, evidence-based couples therapy, EMDR & sexual trauma therapy, as well as, teen therapy. In order to help serve the mental health needs of all those living in Minnesota, we also offer online counseling & sex therapy. We also provide a variety of helpful tips on our mental health blog. Please feel free to reach out if you have questions or if you would like to schedule an appointment to begin working with a skilled sex therapist! Your sex life can be amazing. Sex therapy can be a part of that process for you.