What Can I Expect in Sex Therapy?

​​Written by Sexual Wellness Institute Owner and Therapist, Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT

Considering sex therapy? If you’re reading this, you might be feeling anxious, hopeful, uncertain, or even skeptical about what sex therapy actually involves. That’s completely normal.
You might wonder how much we are going to talk about sex, what it involves, how long it’ll take, etc. So let me answer some common questions or concerns about starting sex therapy.

So, what exactly is sex therapy?

First, let me say, sex therapy is just like regular therapy. The big difference is that you are coming with a more specific sexual concern to a therapist who not only has the basic training of a mental health professional, but also additional training in sex and intimacy. 
There is no touching involved with sex therapy. Instead, we explore the psychological, relational, emotional, and sometimes medical aspects that might be impacting your sexual experience.
Whether you're dealing with desire discrepancies, erectile challenges, painful sex, lack of orgasm, sexual trauma, out-of-control sexual behaviors, or exploring aspects of identity, orientation, or kink--sex therapy is a place where those topics are not only welcome, but invited.

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What happens in the first session?

The first session is all about hearing from you. We want to know what is bringing you in and what your goals for therapy are. We want to respect that your time, energy, and money are something to be honored. We want to make this a place where you feel safe and like you are going to get the help you need. 
While we want to be goal-oriented and help you address your concerns, we also want to understand your history. We want to know a bit about your childhood, the communities you were raised in, past sexual experiences, past psychiatric and medical history, any trauma that has occurred, and anything you feel is important to tell us.
This can sometimes take a session or two- but don’t worry, as we go along, we will tell you exactly why we are asking certain questions and help you connect with how past experiences might be impacting your current sex life.

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Will we talk about sex in detail?

Yes—when you're ready. We’ll use real language about real bodies and experiences. That said, how we talk about sex will always honor your comfort level, your values, and your cultural context. Details are important, and they can often be difficult to discuss due to the shame around sex in our culture. Many clients find that simply talking about sex, sexuality, and intimacy in a nonjudgmental space does wonders for any sexual issues they might be coming in with. 

How long does it take?

That depends. Some people come for just a few sessions to work through a specific concern. Others engage in longer-term therapy, especially if the issues are rooted in longstanding patterns or trauma. There’s no one-size-fits-all timeline—progress is not linear, and growth is not rushed here.

Will I get homework?

We will decide if homework is helpful for you and your specific concerns. Engaging in work outside of the therapy room often speeds up the process of getting where you want to be.
 We might suggest books, podcasts, or guided exercises for you to explore between sessions. This might include self-reflection prompts, partnered communication practices, or sensate focus exercises (a non-demand touch-based series of steps to rebuild connection with sensation and desire). All "homework" is collaborative, never mandatory.

What If My Sexuality, Gender, or Culture Has Been Ignored Elsewhere?

You deserve a therapist who respects your full humanity. That means honoring your pronouns, affirming your relationships (whether monogamous or non-monogamous), understanding cultural nuance, and not making assumptions based on how you look, love, or live.
Inclusive sex therapy means recognizing how systems of oppression—racism, ableism, fatphobia, heteronormativity, cissexism—can impact our sexual development and experiences. It means not asking you to leave pieces of yourself outside the room.

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Consider Sex Therapy in Plymouth, MN

Sexuality is a deeply personal, ever-evolving part of who we are. When something feels off or painful in that area, it can make other parts of our identity or relationship feel extra hard. If you aren’t sure if sex therapy is right for you, we invite you to have a completely free 30-minute consultation with one of our therapists. During this meeting, you can ask anything you want about the process and ensure a good fit with your sex therapist. We look forward to meeting with you! Get started by following these simple steps:

1. Contact the Sexual Wellness Institute to set up your first appointment.
   
2. Meet with one of our skilled sex therapists for an intake appointment.
   
3. Start experiencing deeper emotional connection, greater sexual satisfaction, and a renewed sense of confidence—both in yourself and in your relationship.
   

Other Mental Health Services in Minnesota

In addition to sex therapy, our LGBT & polyamory friendly sex therapists provide a wide range of mental health services at our Plymouth, MN counseling office. Other services include couples therapy & marriage counseling, EFT, evidence-based couples therapy, EMDR & sexual trauma therapy, as well as, teen therapy. In order to help serve the mental health needs of all those living in Minnesota, we also offer online counseling & sex therapy. We also provide a variety of helpful tips on our mental health blog. Please feel free to reach out with questions, or if you would like to schedule an appointment to begin working with a skilled sex therapist! Your sex life can be amazing. Sex therapy can be a part of that process for you.