Written by Sexual Wellness Institute Owner and Therapist, Amanda Holmberg, MS LMFT ![]() Do you know what your largest and most powerful sexual organ is? Your brain! When was the last time you and your partner had a conversation about your sex life outside of the bedroom? If you can’t remember, it’s been too long! Open communication about sex is essential in relationships. Many couples assume that sexual compatibility should come naturally. Just like any other skill in life – it likely took time, energy, and investment to get there. Sex is no different. One way you can instantly improve your sex life is to have more in-depth conversations about how your sex life is going and what you need from it. Doing this can help with libido concerns, sexual dysfunction, sexual pain, desire, mismatch, and more! One way to do this is with a few open-ended questions. Here are a few to get you started! 1. What Does Great Sex Mean to You?Sex means different things to different people. For some, it’s about emotional connection; for others, it’s about pleasure, exploration, or stress relief. There is no wrong answer here.
2. What Are Your Boundaries and Hard No’s?![]() Boundaries are fundamental to maintaining a safe and pleasurable sex life. Communicating your needs and boundaries to your partner is an important part of the sexual relationship. You and your partner may have different comfort levels with certain activities, and acknowledging these differences fosters trust and mutual respect.
3. How Do You Feel About Frequency and Spontaneity?Differences in libido can create tension in a relationship. One of the most common issues I that brings couples to sex therapy is the mismatch in sexual frequency and initiation styles. Understanding each other’s expectations can prevent frustration and help maintain intimacy.
4. Are You Feeling Wanted by Me?When was the last time you told your partner they were attractive? Or maybe looked good in a particular outfit they wore that day? How to approach it: To jump-start the conversation in a positive way, try each sharing 3 things that attract you to your partner. Then ask what else they might need in order to feel “wanted”. 5. How do you want to handle it when things don’t go as planned?![]() Did you know that sex goes badly or not so well about 15% of the time for couples with no reported sexual concerns? This statistic tells us it’s very normal for things to go awry during sexual activity. Talking about how you want things to go before they happen helps set you up to avoid bad feelings and/or avoid them happening with regularity.
Consider Sex Therapy in Plymouth, MNDiscussing sex might feel awkward at firstcommon-sex-therapy-questions-insight-from-a-minnesota-sex-therapist.html, but if you can laugh a little through the awkwardness to get to some meaningful conversation…you won’t regret it! So, when’s your next date night? Consider setting aside time to answer 1 or more of these questions. Want more support? Our sex therapists want to help you address sexual concerns here in Plymouth, or anywhere in the state with online therapy in Minnesota. Get started by following these simple steps:
Other Mental Health Services in MinnesotaIn addition to sex therapy, our LGBT & polyamory friendly sex therapists provide a wide range of mental health services at our Plymouth, MN counseling office. Other services include couples therapy & marriage counseling, EFT, evidence-based couples therapy, EMDR & sexual trauma therapy, as well as, teen therapy. In order to help serve the mental health needs of all those living in Minnesota, we also offer online counseling & sex therapy. We also provide a variety of helpful tips on our mental health blog. Please feel free to reach out with questions, or if you would like to schedule an appointment to begin working with a skilled sex therapist! Your sex life can be amazing. Sex therapy can be a part of that process for you. We're thrilled to be named one of the "Top 20 Sex Therapy Blogs You Need to Follow"See the full list here!
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